I don’t know what to write. But I know I need to. It is time to make some changes.
Have you ever felt directionless? I’m guessing you have, especially now. We are in the middle (start? end?) of a global health crisis that has ground life as we knew it to what essentially amounts to a halt, and for many of us it has become next to impossible to see a path out. That’s a heavy burden, one we all bear in some way or another. But maybe that’s an exercise in futility, and instead it becomes important to look for the opportunities that may exist, however hard to focus on they may be. Our world is so keyed upon instant gratification that long term goals seem impossible to focus on. But why are we so insistent on the finish line and so avoidant of the journey? What happened to us? It is time to make some changes.
I am sick and tired of social media. There, I said it. But before I get into that I feel it is extremely important to outline all of the ways in which it has added positives in my life.
It is very weird to have a lot of followers that people refer to as fans. I’ve never been comfortable with the idea of having fans but I guess I do. How does this happen? Typically you do something with your life that gains public acknowledgment or exposure, and people ‘sign up’ to you to see more. In my case it’s hard to pinpoint exactly when it happened, easier to pinpoint when it accelerated. For the sake of not straying too far off topic it went something like this: I was the general manager of a company that ran the most popular bars and clubs in a medium sized city for well over a decade, which by the nature of that business gives you something of a following (begins). Then I was on a popular TV show (accelerates). Then a couple of things I did went semi-viral like a Harlequin Romance Novel commercial, a wedding in Texas, etc.. Following and during that my modelling career took off and went global, and the acting (almost entirely commercials) portion of things remained a constant in the background. Along the way I kept picking up followers and I got really lucky because for the most part they have been a loyal collective of truly awesome and supportive people. And it’s a thrill, truly.
But with those thrills come great consequence and the repercussions of that world is that you begin to lose yourself. I noticed something early on that most of us are noticing now: algorithms that determine our digital experience are dangerous and represent a curated truth (this is something I have very deep knowledge of and intend to discuss in the future). The accuracy of this truth is an eggshell unable to paint the full picture. And to some degree I’m tired of living a lie with such a hallow presentation of myself. It is time to make some changes.
Not to say that presentation is at all inaccurate, it isn’t. It’s just incomplete. I am in fact that happy-go-lucky guy that always seems to be in a good mood. I love spreading positive energy. I am deeply controlled by my sense of humour, often self-deprecating, and I love a good meme. But even those traits can’t really be explored properly while attempting to surf the algorithms. We have no control over who sees what we post and reads what we say on those platforms, and so therefore we are all very careful to present something safe, or perfect or pristine. Something people will like and respond to, something our overlords (the algorithms) won’t censor and instead will promote. It’s so gross.
But this is my platform, and I control it. So I am going to start using more of it. I am hopeful that the other platforms I am on actually benefit from this change of ideology as I have no intention of abandoning them, but my new perspective is this: my social media platforms are a shiny new coat I (we?) wear to impress others. This website is what’s underneath. The same goes for any other online presences I may be updating or adding to my life. I am tired of giving only what I’m told I am allowed to give to other peoples platforms and I’m wresting back some control for myself. It is time to make some changes.
And the best part? As of now, Thursday April 15th 2021, I’m not planning on telling anyone. That will eventually change, but for now I’m doing this for me and I believe that the people that want to find this will, and the people that feel compelled to share it and spread it will, and the people that are really my friends, followers or fans will come along for the ride and see a reflection of themselves in this experience of trying something different. Because what I was doing before, what WE ALL were doing before and still doing now isn’t working anymore.
Back to what I said at the start. This is the opportunity, the chance to step out of the cycle and do, give and be more. It is time to make some changes and to me one of the best ways to explore further is through the written word. But it isn’t for you. It’s for me. The more is what I want to create and present. It’s not what I think you’ll like. It’s what I like and want to do and say and be. And I encourage you to look long and hard at what takes up your days, and find more substance in a world trapped on the surface of existence. And if your journey begins here or this is merely a pit stop on your path to rediscovering what matters to you, then from the bottom of my heart all I can say is thank you, and I hope this helps.
